As we all know, women are complicated and confusing creatures. No matter how hard you may try, something you say or do is bound to piss off your girlfriend or piss away any chance you have of getting one. You’ve been told that women love compliments, yet when tell her that her eyes are as beautiful as the energy sword, or that her body’s as banging as the M808V Main Battle Tank’s main canon, she still gets angry. You can even sing her the most romantic song in the universe and she’ll still make you sleep on the couch.

Rather than attempt to rectify the situation, it’s often easiest to simply avoid it. Here is a list of 5 Halo references that you should never, ever say to or about a woman. Ever.

1. Bomb armed, bomb planted!
2. Infected!
3. Did I give you permission to bitch?
4. Relax. I’d rather not piss this thing off.
5. Kill me or release me parasite, but do not waste my time with talk.