So, as I’m sure most everyone could guess, this week’s roast belongs to everyone’s favorite (or least favorite) [or somewhere in between] Highlnd Hellrazr! Fortunately for me, the person who requested this roast supplied me with a few rhymes of her own. Now, I can’t give away who it was, but I will give a hint. Her gamertag rhymes with “Moosechecka”. So, the few verses in the middle should be credited to our anonymous person that we shall refer to anonymously as “Goosey”.

With a name like Highlnd Hellrazr,
You can only look on in awe
As the man plows through a Grifball field
Wielding a hammer like a chainsaw.
Straight from the depths of Scotland
Claiming the Highlander name,
You’d expect his Grifball skills
To not quite be so lame.
He can’t run the ball
Nor will he pull a sword on you.
In fact, without host,
There’s not a lot he can do.

Highlnd Hellrazr has a host,
It gives him super powers.
But if it’s away when he plays,
Any nub can school him for hours.
His tongue is weighted with a brogue
Incomprehensible through a speaker.
If he could, he’d bonk all the boys
And accuse all the girls of being squeakers.
As one of the oldest players around
And as admin personnel,
You wouldn’t think someone like Highlnd
Might need to learn how to spell.

After looking at 20 pages of matchmaking,
17 of which were Grifball with host,
I found that his abilities in anything else
Were nothing of which he could boast.
When I saw his First Lieutenant
I thought it was a deceptive account.
Then I saw his skills with a BR myself.
My grandma could take him down for the count.
So let it be known to all that
If you can’t speak Engish and you listen to Queen,
You might get roasted by your friend “Goosey”,
Which is really, really mean.

So don’t make any friends named “Goosey”.

Next week’s Rhyme Roast: I don’t know yet! I haven’t decided! I’ve gotten so many suggestions, I don’t know what to do with myself! So send me more! Exclamation! (It’s probably you. If you think I directly mean you, then yes…you.)