Hello, I’m Lorde Rey and welcome to my reports!
This is a weekly report that involves interviews, division round ups, season reviews and possibly some more bonus content if i can think of more. This is a Teammates interview and if you are unsure what that means then Teammates is an interview which requires the interviewee to answer questions with the name of somebody they have ever been on a team with, and reasons as to why. Simple enough really, I hope it makes for good reading!
So enough babbling, here is my Teammates interview with Messiah Muffin:
Its Benji S. He was too much of a BK to stick around for long but he was probably the best tank, and I played three EU seasons with Kirsty. If he didn’t go out on the pull he could have been Halo 4’s version of Hellfire. And I am srs.
Doctor Cookeh, especially on Halo 4. He was a good hybrid on Reach and probably the best JSG had but on Halo 4 he’s even better. Myself and (why so mean to) Rey were both voted as the best Hybrids of last season and Cookeh is on the same level as us two at least.
Slimy Strangler. My boy always got the stick, but he was one of the best runners and stiff armers for two Halo games. Sure he got stick for being a passy footer, but that’s just because he wasn’t a moron with the bomb. I’d launch that bad boy any day.
Doctor Cookeh. He hasn’t got the tanking edge that Kirsty or Benji has but add in his bomb running and work in defense and with a sword to the mix and he’s up there. He ain’t one of them bad at everything hybrids, that’s for sure. You don’t get many players who are top of the game at all areas.
For the record I’m one of them too. Don’t forget it you cretins.
flameknightj. If I gave my dog a controller to chew on she’d probably be able to pull out some better performances then the big man himself. And we came third in that EU season. Shame on you all. #muffinkazooie #imissreach
6. Who is the biggest joker that you’ve ever played with?
Marcusrowlands. Better known as being NonDairyTea himself. Sadly he never did play on JSG but at least we had some quality man time together on the disaster known as What The BeeGees? Who puts a nail through their ear and isn’t a huge joker? Psychopaths, that’s who. I think I’ll judge the former.
7. Who is the most boring player that you’ve ever played with?
AwareMosqutio. Yes of course it was you Matt. You didn’t speak for two years and when you do it comes in one vocal tone about very little. Not on the forums though. Now that’s when he comes to life. That’s when the rich tea biscuit gets some coating.
8. Who is the most intelligent player that you’ve ever played with?
Slimy Strangler. Quite the intelligent guy that one, he knows languages or something. Lots of them. Too many for me to handle. And Muffin is a genius. And he wasn’t too shabby roaming around our spawn with the bomb either. So we’ll go with him.
9. Who is the least intelligent player that you’ve ever played with?
The Seedy Irony. If you’ve never had the enjoy of sitting in a party with him, here is a quick example. “Eeewwwwwwewkkk. Oh Billy! Haha, that’s so Billy that is! Blblblblbl-Max Rebo, The Imperial Spy! Ehehohhhh I don’t know, gotta go for a poo. Eehhhh”. This even defeats flameknightj, these are the levels we’re talking about. Own fault for being infected with whispers and cheats.
10. Which player has the worst taste in music that you’ve ever played with?
Doctor Cookeh. Well he might not have the worst, but he’s the only one on my team who I can hear playing down the headset in a loud squealy echo. That’s like a default winner. I guess Mally Q does the same, but when it’s a bit of Samba and Mario Gomez, who could hate?
11. Who is the biggest connection abuser that you’ve ever played with?
BangTidyPotatoo. Everyone who pulled host on Halo 3 was basically a connection abuser. Crabbeh, me in that semi-final game against The Fumble Faction, and BangTidy. He just didn’t give it up. Best ringer we ever found. Sorry bigbellychimp.
12. Which player is your best mate/most enjoyable to play with?
Doctor Cookeh. No surprise there though. We joined the league together and we’re still going. Well I still am while he’s stuck banned, weeping from the sidelines about what could have been. Scrub.
13. Which player would you never ever want to play with again?
flameknightj. I have a half broken controller somewhere, I don’t think I’d mind it getting chewed up too much to be honest. Would probably save some of my remaining sanity too.
14. Who is the best all round gamer that you’ve ever played with?
Doctor Cookeh. Again. Pretty good on games. He’s pretty good at all the games I’ve played with him, Call of Duty, Left 4 Dead, Gears of War, Shooty Halo, Team Fortress 2, Fifa, all that jazz. Even Grifball, who would have thought it?
15. Who has the weirdest voice that you’ve ever played with?
QUACKisALIVE. It would actually be me if I could say me, and anybody who has played with me who doesn’t put me down is probably lying to themself. But as I can’t say me it falls down to the top bloke himself. Though Quack who is alive.
16. Who is the biggest rager that you’ve ever played with?
Its Benji S. Now sure some people rage. Matt tried to kill people every black screen. Thimmie comes out with some very interesting insults. But none of them rage quitted the team every time they lost a Grifball match and regularly went AFC after Fifa games to do press ups to calm down. All in all, top bloke.
17. Who is the most reliable player that you’ve ever played with?
Th1mm1e. Because he shows up to the games, and he performs in the games. This could have been Cookeh as he has that wonderful lifeless quality which means he’s always there to use, but he got banned, or EdiblePains who is also lifeless, but his internet is held together with staples and good will. So we’ll go with TimTim. Lovely.
18. Who is the least reliable player that you’ve ever played with?
DRO Praetorian. You’d tell him when the game was. And then you’d wait to see if he felt like showing up. Sometimes he did, usually late. Sometimes you had to hope someone else showed up. Props to Strangler too for telling me he couldn’t play a game tomorrow ten seconds after telling me he could play any day. Now that’s planning.
19. Who is the loudest player that you’ve ever played with?
EdiblePains. I think he’s taken to eating his headset. I mean I play with a lot of loud people, but he’s good for it. Some put on their squeals and their screams to amp up the volume. He doesn’t need to act, he’s all natural.
20. Who is the quietest player that you’ve ever played with?
AwareMosqutio. I didn’t hear him speak for two years, and then he didn’t say much. Well in pauses in play he could get a bit rowdy, especially if someone were to kill him. But outside of that he was basically the league’s silent protagonist. With only a regular sword.
21. And…Who’s the longest in the shower?
I refuse to answer such smut.
And thus concludes the Teammates interview with Messiah Muffin. If you’d like to have your own interview or even have any feedback/question suggestions then please message me on Xbox or on the forum and I’ll sort something out. Thank you to Messiah Muffin for kindly volunteering to answer the questions.
Cheers for reading, until next time this was Rey’s Reports ~ Teammates with Messiah Muffin, Make sure to check out my other articles (which can all be found here)